The Curtain

 The Curtain

She hides behind the curtain, peaking out every so often-
long enough to say hello, but never enough for a goodbye.

Behind the curtain, lies a world filled with whispering poems and fearless soldiers, slaughtered harlots, endless responses, warm embraces, and opportunites.

Hello is a war, while goodbye seems uplifting to the kind who like backwards and know only how to tiptoe. 

The poems are countless, but there's often no meaning-
...way too often...
The words often scramble onto the page, giving the impression that she has a lot to say.  So deceiving is the pen, so when it creeps, she is careful to follow in accordance to the pace.

Behind the curtain, there is laughter and so often it feels lonely to smile alone-

..and so, HELLO-

Hello to a smile and so often a need.  So many long to hear the beautiful sound...so often it goes unnoticed. 
It's echo is enticing-
BRAND NEW, and giving birth to itself every single time..
and so very rare it is indeed, to smile without a tear-
without a dirty, filthy tear. 
The tears are flowing into rivers, so as to keep them from soiling the ground, the walls, the curtain!!

~

But still, she hides behind that curtain...and the cloth becomes frayed, as more and more often fingers stroke the edges- pulling it aside at times..for a peek and breath of fullness-

AT TIMES

And even as the curtain chokes the very hope from within her,
she clings to what's left- the shredded ribbon of her protection-
drowning in her own freedom...still searching for a place to hide in her affliction.

...she hears a mighty roar...
she puts her ear to the ground and listens to the sound of approaching footsteps...

She stands up then-
eyes closed tightly...
hands lifted high into the air...
rain falling down upon her face, and becoming one with her tears as it washes them away...

And in one quick motion, Love tears down that curtain and exposes the trembling child from behind.

In one quick motion, Love pulls aside that veil-

AND-

Her Savior stands before her whispering,

"Come"

and all at once she finds herself hidden inside His outstretched Arms!  Covered and Hidden inside the curtain of Her Savior's Love.

A Psalms 91 Kind of Life

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High-
(I run to where You are! In Your Shadow I abide!)

I will say to the Lord, "My God in whom I trust!"
Safely tucked beneath Your Wings, my heart cries out,

"Enough!"

(You are more than enough.)

I need not to be afraid-
You stand in the space between the struggle and the victory.
The angry sword may strike by day and night, but even the fight will end in Your glory.

(This is YOUR story.)

Chaos!
All around me!
Oh Lord, my heart is faint within...I can't go on!
The noise consumes and the pain overwhelms..sometimes I can't find You..I want to come home!


"You will only look upon it and watch as the world falls deeper and deeper into it's own demise...
But, open your eyes!
Child-
Open your eyes!

(I've been here beside you all of your life-
I have NEVER left your side.)"


Radiant before me, a heavenly host alongside of this trembling walk.
Never moving without a command from my Father, a gentle guide from the Everlasting Rock.

Because I call out to You-
even as sharp claws and teeth relentlessly seek to destroy my life.

Because I cling to You-
salvation awaits

Because I love You-

I've been given new LIFE.

Hide and Seek

I have been studying Proverbs 31 for a few weeks now, which has been encouraging, convicting, overwhelming at times, discouraging at times, (annoying at times), and has my house about as shiny as it's ever been. 

 

There is a theme with this Proverbs woman; an impossible standard of perfection.  This standard is not limited to this woman alone, however; an expectation of perfection is pretty consistently found in every Book of the Bible.  [This is the part where I get on my spandex (what beautiful imagery) and step out onto the mat for a nice wrestling match.]

 

As I read through these stories, the Lord points out over and over again, that I am not anywhere close to who I was made to be.  So, what do I do?  I immediately begin to panic at how far off the mark I am, roll up my sleeves (oh wait..I'm wearing spandex...) and get to work. 

After days, or weeks, months, or even years at this, the Good Lord comes and tenderly wipes the damp wisps of hair from my furrowed brow.  He then lifts me up onto His lap, and gently reminds me that this is the reason that Jesus was born.  You see, this perfection is required of us, but CANNOT be met in our own strength.

 I get so discouraged with myself for both falling for my fallen nature again, and for how long it takes my heart to understand what my head instructs it to believe during these seasons, but there is also a measure of Grace and a lesson intertwined beneath, because while the enemy seeks to steal my joy and convince me of my unworthiness, the Father maintains the Truth in my spirit; that I will always need my Savior. 

And then there's this...

 

this warm, enveloping robe of cover and comforting Hand that pulls me back in from a fight that I never could have won:

 

It is found in Colossians 3:3-

"For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

I am not perfect.  I will NEVER be perfect, but if my Heavenly Father comes looking for me, do you know where He will find me? HIDDEN with Christ.  It's like the best game of hide and seek EVER!

 

Someday, when that trumpet sounds...perhaps in our childlike hearts, we will hear a booming voice...

 

"Ready or not...Here I come!"  

 

and tucked safely away with our Lord, we will be more than ready!