Trail of Thought Crumbs...Join Me!

Hope.
What is hope?

Is it present?

No, hope is the expectancy of what is to come. The very nature of it implies that it has not yet come. In order to hope, you must have faith.

Faith.
What is faith?
Faith is the belief in what cannot be seen, and often times, in the impossible.  
Is faith complete?
No, like hope, faith implies that it is to be "waited" upon.

Faith and hope are not tangible. By their very nature they cannot be disected and looked too closely upon, because trust cannot be understood as a perfect equation..and trust is what they are built upon.

Trust.
Where does trust come from?
It comes from knowing that the intentions behind a thing are GOOD...that the purpose behind a thing is GOOD...and where does goodness come from?

Love.

And where does love come from?
God.

And what is love?
God Himself.

God is love and therefore His purposes and intentions are good so we can trust Him. Once we trust Him, we can have faith to believe the impossible. Once we have faith in the impossible, we are filled with hope, and once we are filled with hope...we are free!

 

A Psalms 91 Kind of Life

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High-
(I run to where You are! In Your Shadow I abide!)

I will say to the Lord, "My God in whom I trust!"
Safely tucked beneath Your Wings, my heart cries out,

"Enough!"

(You are more than enough.)

I need not to be afraid-
You stand in the space between the struggle and the victory.
The angry sword may strike by day and night, but even the fight will end in Your glory.

(This is YOUR story.)

Chaos!
All around me!
Oh Lord, my heart is faint within...I can't go on!
The noise consumes and the pain overwhelms..sometimes I can't find You..I want to come home!


"You will only look upon it and watch as the world falls deeper and deeper into it's own demise...
But, open your eyes!
Child-
Open your eyes!

(I've been here beside you all of your life-
I have NEVER left your side.)"


Radiant before me, a heavenly host alongside of this trembling walk.
Never moving without a command from my Father, a gentle guide from the Everlasting Rock.

Because I call out to You-
even as sharp claws and teeth relentlessly seek to destroy my life.

Because I cling to You-
salvation awaits

Because I love You-

I've been given new LIFE.

I will abide

I will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
Who else but the Most High has a shadow of light?
May the reflection of my walk be light as is Yours, oh Lord.
The Spring has come.
I feel like growing!
My head falls back and the rain falls upon my smile.
Rooted and established in this place beneath the Son, I will abide.
Even when the wind blows my pedals in and out of the places where light meets dark, I will abide.
Even when weeds grow around me, reach for me, and threaten to strangle and overtake my fragile frame, I will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
Life will be sustained.
A breath of life; the cool and damp soil  beneath the bright green limbs of my deliverance burst forth.
A soft breeze, a touch of warmth upon my face, the beams of light emerging from behind the bountiful clouds, pregnant with rain for the days of drought.
 Yes, here in the shadow of the Almighty, I will abide.

Porcelain

In the porcelain stillness there are cracks- oh tragic chaos if they should dance!
If I peer closely, I can see a war on the other side of them.
 If I peer too closely, I had best be ready to fight.
 I am not.
So I cautiously tip-toe backwards to the place of rest that has been so lovingly and carefully spread out for me, and I fall-
 like a feather, I fall back into it, and I close my eyes.

Joy cometh in the morning!

It comes like a thief and grabs fistfuls of joy; so greedy as it takes more than it's filthy hands can hold...leaving bits and pieces behind, falling through the spaces in between clenched knuckles... falling into the dirt and debris that remains in it's wake...so small and irrelevant. Of what use are a few specks of yesterday's joy? They are nothing more than a fleeting thought. They are quickly dismissed and just as quickly forgotten... The thief looks over his shoulder one last time, very pleased, and then slams the door, HARD, behind him. But...as time passes..slowly... .. as the ground begins to forget... and those tiny specks of remembrance appear as nothing more than the dirt in which they dwell, a sound is almost heard... a commanding whisper..almost...put your ear to the ground and listen... the sky begins to quiver... and the earth takes a deep breath... embracing itself... and then... rain begins to fall... So slowly, beneath the earth.. unseen and quietly restrained, the seeds begin to grow. The earth appears so dark and barren, but beneath that surface, there are mighty roots shooting this way.. and that way.... but ever waiting...waiting for just the right moment..just waiting for the command... and in the secret place just beneath the surface, an electric push is felt, from the tippy toed roots to the tops of the emerging seed.. and... ALAS!! Joy breaks forth, bursting up out of the earth! Out of the darkness! Buried for such a time as this! Buried to proclaim that it will just keep rising back up again! It cannot be contained! If you've ever seen the glory that can be grown from even a speck of joy, then you have seen a glorious harvest. Unmatched in it's beauty! Joy is the most beautiful when it rises from debris

Again

Learning to walk again-
 Oh, but these restless legs, how they love to run!
Learning to see again-
eyes wide open, Oh beautiful daughter that I've become!
 Learning to lean again-
embracing this cross, Oh sacred tree to catch the fall.
 Learning to believe again-
at the foot of the alter, Oh Lord I give You all!
 Learning to trust again-
 in the very Name that gives me hope.
Learning to love again-
                                        with faith, oh Jesus, I cling to Your healing yoke!

To write a song

In this quiet I can feel the shadows whisper, asking, "When? When can we start screaming?" I calmly wait beyond this hissing, with softly spoken promises..believing.
 I come from light and when I shine, the darkness falls to it's knees and ground's made holy.. as His presence fills the place where I stand, or often kneel with hands that are folding.
 A day goes by so quickly when Your love intertwines with heart and hands. A year goes by so slowly...an hour of hopeless turmoil when devil's dance.
 But YOU Oh Lord, You are making me new, and I have been wearing this size for so long. These tattered clothes are tightly constricting, and I want to look pretty for You when I sing my song! I haven't read the words yet that I will sing, but I hear the Melody in my heart, and I know that when my voice comes forth it will run to where You are... and return with the recompense of love that was lost and I will rejoice at the gain and won't ponder at the cost... and who knows if I will ever stop singing?

Crowned

The promise of peace amid this chaos, Lord- This is the desire of my heart. With too many thoughts to reign in-
 too many feelings to sort-
 it is hard to hear You..You seem so far.
 I am passing through these waters-
 You are the anchor for my soul. Please pull me to the surface, Lord, the water's thick..the river's cold. My feet are tied to rocks. My hands feel tied behind my back. I call upon Your Holy throne Oh Lord, please come and stand here where I lack. PEACE! I need to be delivered. I am a prisoner of this weight. To be redeemed, it is the promise...and here I am...and here I'll wait! I am a child shivering in a dark place. I am a broken child lashing out. I know not what I do...or where I'm going... my mind so full of anguish and screaming doubts. Somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow, torn between my joy and my sorrow, I see the picture of hope as it stands... a woman in a crown... she was so lost but oh so found! she said she couldn't, but oh how You say she can!

Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted

These are my random thoughts....if they sound dark at times, it's because I am being honest...if they are lame at times...it's because I am being honest.

"Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted." I used to pray with remorse and white knuckles; my heart pounding to the rhythm of my pleas. One night You stood me up and I thought I'd never fall again.....but..."Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted!" My eyes are closed so tight; fingers in my ears, but oh how free my mouth is! Bind it shut! Bind my mouth and open my eyes! Pull the fingers from my ears, but quiet my own voice so I can hear! I cannot live in the gray as before. I am not even welcome there anymore, but I feel shunned by the white. I pretend black isn't even a word, although it has taken up residence in the place between my fingertips and my eyelids. I cry out to You from morning until night- "Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted!"
Amen.