The Curtain

 The Curtain

She hides behind the curtain, peaking out every so often-
long enough to say hello, but never enough for a goodbye.

Behind the curtain, lies a world filled with whispering poems and fearless soldiers, slaughtered harlots, endless responses, warm embraces, and opportunites.

Hello is a war, while goodbye seems uplifting to the kind who like backwards and know only how to tiptoe. 

The poems are countless, but there's often no meaning-
...way too often...
The words often scramble onto the page, giving the impression that she has a lot to say.  So deceiving is the pen, so when it creeps, she is careful to follow in accordance to the pace.

Behind the curtain, there is laughter and so often it feels lonely to smile alone-

..and so, HELLO-

Hello to a smile and so often a need.  So many long to hear the beautiful sound...so often it goes unnoticed. 
It's echo is enticing-
BRAND NEW, and giving birth to itself every single time..
and so very rare it is indeed, to smile without a tear-
without a dirty, filthy tear. 
The tears are flowing into rivers, so as to keep them from soiling the ground, the walls, the curtain!!

~

But still, she hides behind that curtain...and the cloth becomes frayed, as more and more often fingers stroke the edges- pulling it aside at times..for a peek and breath of fullness-

AT TIMES

And even as the curtain chokes the very hope from within her,
she clings to what's left- the shredded ribbon of her protection-
drowning in her own freedom...still searching for a place to hide in her affliction.

...she hears a mighty roar...
she puts her ear to the ground and listens to the sound of approaching footsteps...

She stands up then-
eyes closed tightly...
hands lifted high into the air...
rain falling down upon her face, and becoming one with her tears as it washes them away...

And in one quick motion, Love tears down that curtain and exposes the trembling child from behind.

In one quick motion, Love pulls aside that veil-

AND-

Her Savior stands before her whispering,

"Come"

and all at once she finds herself hidden inside His outstretched Arms!  Covered and Hidden inside the curtain of Her Savior's Love.

Porcelain

In the porcelain stillness there are cracks- oh tragic chaos if they should dance!
If I peer closely, I can see a war on the other side of them.
 If I peer too closely, I had best be ready to fight.
 I am not.
So I cautiously tip-toe backwards to the place of rest that has been so lovingly and carefully spread out for me, and I fall-
 like a feather, I fall back into it, and I close my eyes.

Crowned

The promise of peace amid this chaos, Lord- This is the desire of my heart. With too many thoughts to reign in-
 too many feelings to sort-
 it is hard to hear You..You seem so far.
 I am passing through these waters-
 You are the anchor for my soul. Please pull me to the surface, Lord, the water's thick..the river's cold. My feet are tied to rocks. My hands feel tied behind my back. I call upon Your Holy throne Oh Lord, please come and stand here where I lack. PEACE! I need to be delivered. I am a prisoner of this weight. To be redeemed, it is the promise...and here I am...and here I'll wait! I am a child shivering in a dark place. I am a broken child lashing out. I know not what I do...or where I'm going... my mind so full of anguish and screaming doubts. Somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow, torn between my joy and my sorrow, I see the picture of hope as it stands... a woman in a crown... she was so lost but oh so found! she said she couldn't, but oh how You say she can!

Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted

These are my random thoughts....if they sound dark at times, it's because I am being honest...if they are lame at times...it's because I am being honest.

"Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted." I used to pray with remorse and white knuckles; my heart pounding to the rhythm of my pleas. One night You stood me up and I thought I'd never fall again.....but..."Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted!" My eyes are closed so tight; fingers in my ears, but oh how free my mouth is! Bind it shut! Bind my mouth and open my eyes! Pull the fingers from my ears, but quiet my own voice so I can hear! I cannot live in the gray as before. I am not even welcome there anymore, but I feel shunned by the white. I pretend black isn't even a word, although it has taken up residence in the place between my fingertips and my eyelids. I cry out to You from morning until night- "Lord, please don't let me fall before I'm lifted!"
Amen.